Adult Psychology, Players and Coaches

(Originally written on June 6, 2006)

Introduction

People seem to think there is some type of deep difference between an athlete and a regular average Joe/Jane.

Sadly, there is little if any.

We are all human beings and we are all affected one way or another by our environments, upbringing and life tasks and life experiences and hopes and joys and sorrows.

To Illustrate -Your team is losing

The 1976 Tampa bay Buccaneers were 0 and 14 in the win/loss record. Reporters asked John McKay what he thought of his team’s execution: I quote – “ I am in favor of it ” (Denver Post, 1976).

The clichés for losing are interesting:

Football: “ the player expectations were to high ”

Hockey: “ the player is holding his stick to tight ”

These are nice ways to say that there are emotional or psychological issues that play a role in sport (winning and/or losing).

Players

Players are like the rest of us average Joes/Janes: self protective and sensitive people who get angry, depressed, frustrated, and perhaps even have jealousy of the marquee player on their team or the winning team.

Players are like us average Joes/Janes in that they are afraid to make mistakes.

And, someday just do not feel like playing the game.

Players, just like you and I, use the same or similar techniques to protect their Minds such as denial, blame, rage and avoidance and sometimes they self medicate their issues, concerns or problems with alcohol and drugs.

Coaches

Sam Polack of the Montreal Canadiens said sometime in the 1950’s and 1960’s “ if you can watch 50 guys skate around a rink and you can pick out the hockey players you can be a coach”. Coaches of today need to do a lot more than that.

Coaches are bred apart from the rest of society. They live and die with the team. They need assistant coaches who are prepared, as they are, to sacrifice their personal lives for the good of the team. Significant others are just as important as your assistant coaches. Your family and friends need to understand long days and extended time from home and missed special events, all for the good of the team. These are highly unusual expectations. Or are they? Many men work out of town and leave their families.

What is different about coaches is that need to build a team to execute commands especially in the arena of today’s entertainment of keep the fans happy, the owners happy and the players happy.

The biggest difference between you and I and the coaches is the media attention on the coaches. Other professions outside of politics do not have the same degree of attention on your job description and job performance on a daily basis as a coach.

Coaches need to learn the same things you and I need to learn about stress reduction, anxiety control and anger management to cope with the media attention.

When you are winning life is easy. When your are losing life is very difficult. But so it is in big or small business.

So, it is the media attention that makes the biggest variance between us mere mortals and coaches.

Hence players must trust the coaches to say the right things at the right times to the media about them and their team and teammates.

Our Opinion

Our opinion for your team losing or winning has the same construct: Trust. Prior to about 16 years of age sport is fun and exciting and generally individual physical attributes out shine team play. One or two players are the “standouts” they score the goals, make the tackles and score the points, make the plays and lead the team and others look up to them to win.

Then, one day the reality is there really is no “I” in team sports and in the individual sports significant others are necessary to support the “I” in individual sports.

In Football the quarterback needs the five interior offensive linemen. In Hockey some one needs to pass you the puck, in Golf you need to talk to your caddy.

Without trust there is little one can do in sports. The team needs to trust its coach, the players need to trust each other and everyone needs to trust everyone.

If your team is losing it means your team has given up. But, if you are losing and your team has not given up then the trust is still there. The trust has to be there whether you are winning or losing: trust to protect your quarterback, trust you will make the pass and trust your caddy knows the course and trust that the coach knows what is best for the team whether you are winning or losing.

The “loveable losers” were the 1962 New York Mets. Casey Stingel said of his Mets “ the only worse thing about his Mets was a Met doubleheader.” To be able to say this and have everyone laugh meant his players trusted him and knew he cared about them as they were trying there best and cared about him.

Conclusion

You just cannot beat trust and what goes with it, the attributes of caring and sharing for each another. Trust is the basis of good families and friends. This is the basis of team sports and individual sports and the start of eventually any and all winning teams.